I don’t think you know how beautiful you are.
You hate your eyes because they may be too big or too small, but you don’t know how they shine much like the stars when you talk about something you are deeply passionate about.
You hate your lips because they may be too thin or too plump, but you don’t know how alluring they are especially when it curves whenever you smile a real smile.
You hate your stomach because it may be too flabby or too boney, but you don’t realize how unrealistic your expectations are for yourself.
You hate your thighs because you wish you did or didn’t have thigh gaps, but you don’t know how perfectly fine you look the way you are right now.
You hate your body because it isn’t the body you dream of having, but what you don’t know is that you are beautiful with all your scars, all your “imperfections” and “flaws.” You’re beautiful even with all your insecurities. You’re beautiful because you are you, and even with a world population of seven billion, no one can be you but yourself. The parts and features you consider your imperfections are those that make you unique.
Stop comparing yourself to the faces and bodies that fuel your insecurities. Stop comparing yourself to what is being portrayed as beautiful. Stop trying to reach our messed up society’s definition of “perfection” because there is none. Perfection is nothing but a mere concept, nothing but an impossible to reach standard set for men and women. It is nothing but a word that has damaged and continue to damage and shoot down one’s self love and confidence. And beauty is nothing but a string of letters used to define one’s appearance. What you should remember is that beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, and looks. It is not skinny or curvy, tall or short, black or white, but rather, skinny and curvy, tall and short, black and white.
We all have something we don’t like about ourselves, there are parts we wish to change, reduce or enhance. But darling, self loathe will bring you nowhere. Don’t let yourself drown in a pool of negativity towards yourself. It may be hard considering how judgmental people are, but remember that you are your own support system. Everyone else is out to bring you down, so don’t jump on that bandwagon. Love yourself because you deserve to be loved. Empower yourself and you will see how much you will change, in a good way. That is one key. The other is to surround yourself with people who bring you nothing but positivity, people who support you, encourage you, and above all else, accept and love you.
One of my friends got me tongue tied; she asked why I was such a hypocrite. And so I asked her why she thought I was one, and her answer got me thinking..
She said, “You always tell me to love myself, and you hate it whenever I tell you about how much I hate a certain part of me. You’d always tell me how beautiful I am and that I don’t need to change a thing. But you, I always hear you saying you hate your stomach or your arms. And whenever I compliment you, you never accept nor believe it, you always just look at the ground. So yes, you are a hypocrite.”
And she was right. I hate it when people loathe themselves, when people think they aren’t pleasing to look at, when people think they’re ugly because of their flaws. I hate it. I hate seeing posts or hearing them say how they hate their eyes or lips or hips or thighs. I hate seeing people letting society dictate the way they feel about themselves. It makes me sad.
She was also right, because I do hate myself. I am not comfortable in my own skin. I have lots of insecurities. I don’t like my stomach, my arms, my thighs and a lot more. I stare at myself in the mirror just hating what I see and hoping I could change my appearance in an instant because I am so tired of not being able to love myself. So yes, that does make me a hypocrite; but in my defense, hating my own self is far easier than watching other people do it to themselves.
I am learning, though. I’m starting to be a little more positive, and with each day that passes, I’m learning to accept my flaws, I’m starting to love myself a little more as well. And I know it will be a long journey to a place where I fully love who and what I am, but I will get there. I’ve come so far from who I was before, I’m not stopping now.
My question is, have you started on that journey? If not, then you should. It will bring you better and far brighter days.
Don’t compare yourself to the photos you see online, the models you see in magazines, or the celebrities you watch on television. Just like you, they too have their imperfections, they too can be insecure, because they too are just human. What matters is that you accept what you consider as your flaws, and learn to love them. Don’t listen to those who try to tell you how ugly you are, they’re just trying to get inside your head, and you shouldn’t let them win. You are beautiful, don’t let anybody tell you otherwise. Don’t let our society dictate how you should feel about yourself. Don’t let it control the way you view yourself as an individual. Your body and appearance do not and should not reflect your value as a person. Keep in mind that it is not you that is flawed, it is our society.